A Blog for 2025

August 30, 2026 Can't believe this month  came and went.  Oh my God, so strange.  Being really sick and not knowing it is confusing.  I mean I knew I was in tons of pain and that something was really wrong, but I had  no idea it was organ related and potentially deadly.  Your brain  loses a lot of everyday function, like time, it dumbs down into survival  stage.  Extraordinary. For the past  two days I have acquired enough energy to do something for a couple of hours, and then I had to sleep for a couple of hours.  Today I did that twice.    The second exertion was a trip to the Coop for a late  lunch and then to the rookery ride.   Sunday in the Coop is a little sad maybe, but it was empty enough to not be overwhelming.  I saw Terry, was glad I saw Terry.  I ate my normal lunch.  It was too much food.  Not  going back to eating all of that.  I did a short walk.  I have to ...

August 29, 2026 Happy Birthday, Melody!! Hope you had a lovely day. Quiet day.  Gary put up a new banister on the stairway.  Big relief for people, I almost think I could go back upstairs.  I'm not very strong, but I'm getting there.  I didn't go out today, though.  I may have overdone it a little yesterday so it was best to let my body do its thing today.   Meanwhile no new photos or stories to tell.  It's beginning to brew in my head though.    Maybe I'll try a poem tomorrow.  

August 28, 2026 It was almost a normal day.  I need to build strength in order to walk alright again, but I drove today and I almost feel back on earth. I took 3 naps, but I walked to the mailbox, and drove up to the rookery and made my way to Staples for a new adaptor.  Actually I was self sufficient all day long.  It was very tiring, but I feel good about it tonight.   Patrick picked me up at  7 and we went and watched the sunset and the moon rise.   It was pretty hazy, but nonetheless, we could watch it.  The mosquitoes were the size of baby hummingbirds and I saw a lot of pink circles.  But it was normalizing.  And I could download pictures and actually post something new tonight.    I'm not sure where life is taking me.  I'm a little fearful, but I'm also grateful.  I need to rebuild not only my strength but my sense of being.    

8/27/25 August 27, 2026 A year ago Clara, David and I went to a concert and saw a beautiful crescent moon.  Tonight is an eclipse with a full moon.  Will the clouds part by midnight? And I don't have a lot of balance tonight, but maybe I can see it from a window. I'll set an alarm and try. Today my pulse was 48 and my  blood pressure was a little high, but the nurse came and I think I"m fine, I just haven't moved a lot in the past 4 days.  I was going to try and drive today, but decided not to and Clara brought me lunch.  I slept for 4 hours in the afternoon.  And then Margo brought me dinner and T. brought me water and EJ came and shopped.  I'm so well taken care of.  It's kind of amazing, almost spoiling.   This situation is making me a little paranoid.  I realize I'm worrying about everyone.  Tonight I'm going to try and visualize happiness for all who are troubled at the moment.  I'm going to visualize more positive gr...

August 26, 2026 This was taken yesterday in hopes that it is the last picture in 2026 of me coming out of anesthetic.  In this one my hair is choking me, too. Yesterday's surgical procedure went really well, they got all the other stones out of the good kidney and removed the bag they placed in my back.  It's amazing after 2 weeks of living with something you get used to it.  Tonight I feel like I lost an appendage.  I also feel relief, but I am amazed at how much I look for the bag.  I slept well last night and today I was slightly unbalanced, but I went out to the market with Patrick and survived it.  I may try to drive tomorrow. I'm surprised at my inability to write.  You'd think I would have done a lot of it in order to process this experience.  But writing has not flowed, yet.  I'm going to try and walk a little everyday.  Maybe I will try to write 5 minutes a day, too.   I think the most overwhelming part of all of this ...

8/24/26 August 24, 2026 again no photos today, so here's what we looked like a year ago.  Not bad.   Tomorrow is my surgical procedure.  I will miss the blog entirely because I probably won't be home until a little late.  But maybe  on Thursday I can get a new adaptor  and get  some photos going. Today  brought a stream  of  professionals to  help me.   I met  4  new nice people.  Then I slept and then Patrick, Edite and EJ came to check in on me.  

8/23/25 August 23, 2026 A Sunday, almost a normal Sunday, closer than in a month, and today Patrick took me for a ride to all my waterways.  I took photos, but I cannot find my memory card adaptor so I couldn't download my pics.  But I was pleasantly surprised I didn't forget how, although my eyes are not as quick to respond as normal.  I think there were kingfisher at the rookery and there were definitely gold finch and waxwings, and a family of ducks.   The colors are beginning to push into fall and the water is low.  It was grey at the rookery and the sun was out when we got to the Connecticut.  It was a nice day for my first foiree into the open air.  Life is complex.  Healing is hard and takes a lot of energy.  I'm beginning to feel as though I may have enough energy for the complexity of life again.  

photo by Zoe August 22, 2026 Queen of the Night grown and nurtured by Jake Hicks.  Fabulous!!!!  I'm hoping I will get photos sent to me today to share with my readership photo by Grace Grace sent me photos that she and Zoe took today.  Most of this day was me and Annie in my new room catching up on everything.    I need a room that allows me and guests to produce work while we sit and gab.  It was so nice to just hang with her.  At one point Patrick and Edite were both here too.  Perfection.    It was Harvest Dinner night in Greenfield.  I'm sorry I missed it, only the 2nd one I ever missed, but Kathryn brought me flowers from the tables.   She also brought me a pink flamingo for my yard.  Couldn't find a heron. Harvest Dinner is made up of local harvest and other things like flowers all donated by local farms and stores in the county and then cooked and served by volunteers from the community.  There have been ...

August 21, 2026  In 1988 I went through a crazy medical emergency.  It took almost a year for it to come to a place where it was diagnosed and could be treated, which it was, initially under emergency conditions.  This seems to be the way my body operates.  When I went through that experience I suffered from extreme fear of doctors and the medical world and had to put my faith in my Mother and my then therapist's judgement and literally do what they said at the ripe old age of 35.   I worked hard to get beyond that fear and anxiety and through childhood medical trauma.  I was successful because of the work I was doing with my therapist and because the medical world worked hard and getting me to trust them.   Now we speed ahead almost 40 years and I find the old trauma and old anxiety banging around loudly.  That is because the medical system itself has stopped being client centered.  I am due to have surgery and Tuesday and the exac...

Photo by Cassandra 12/5/25 August 20, 2026 Where are my purple pants?  Eirnin, do you know where my purple pants are? Eli called today.  He's rehearsing for a new play.  He almost just left NYC last weekend and came to us, but it's best he stayed put and the gang kept him in the loop.  Jen brought me flowers from her garden yesterday.  The other photo was in her garden a year ago.  I want large clumps of beautiful flowers all around this house., too. Today was the most solid day post surgery.  Final procedures were scheduled for Tuesday, too, so I'm headed to return to the pool in a month.  Makes me so excited. I'm beginning to orient.  Tuesday may throw me off course again, but I think for the most part this is the beginning of the rise. T. fixed the flowers up and EJ grocery shopped.  Lots of activity.  I'm looking up a little and see some light.  Keep the positive thoughts coming.    Night.  

August 19, 2026 Happy 58th Anniversary of Andy's and my car accident that almost took my arm.  I've decided it is the root to all August bad health.  LOL. Gerard picked me up at 8 this morning and off to Springfield we went for a 9 o'clock appointment which took forever to begin.  Once it began it was well worth it and satisfying.  I have another surgery being scheduled now and I learned more about taking care of bags that collect fluid. On the way home we got off the highway and drove the back roads finding graffiti for fun. We didn't have real cameras on either or us, but Gerard is so good at it, he took 25 pictures inside the urology office and about.  I wish I could share some.  I also got an image that he took of me in ICU, but I can't seem to download it.  It's great.   Tomorrow I will go to the rookery and take some real photos.  I can't believe how long it has been.  

Photo by Annie August 18, 2026 My three pieces in the gallery show are all sunsets this year.  Islay liked them and has been doing some of her own artwork around sunsets this week.  So much fun. photo by Aggie EJ and Nash got into a couple bodies of water this weekend.   So jealous.  So beautiful.  I had some sweet guests today.  I also got some lone time and nap.  I probably over did it and my yearning for chocolate pudding is big tonight.  Herb brought Mexican food over and Di and T. got to have some, too.  Tasted great.  photo by Patrick photo by Patrick Patrick got to Boston today and saw the elephants.  More jealousy, but so happy he sent me photos.  I actually saw good people today and was sent sweet photos from other people.    I am getting stronger and tomorrow I will get the plan to finish this kidney journey off. With any luck it'll go smoothly and in the next couple of weeks I will be able to get back ...

  photo by David August 17, 2026 Happy Anniversary Tristan and Susie.   Every time I look back at Augusts I'm amazed at how much life dissolves during the 8th month of the year each year.   I think I spend most Augusts disassociated.  I wonder if that Has always been true.  I know that all of my early trips to Europe as a kid were in June and July and therefore Augusts were near home.  August 1968 started in Berkeley and ended with my arm squashed by a car.  I saw Jimi Hendriks with my arm in a cast in Bridgeport and then went back to school without the use of a right arm.  The following year we went to Woodstock. And yes, the world was dissolving.   Today I saw the GP.  All I can tell you is that things look a lot better than they did a week ago.  I have an appointment with the Urologist on Wed. morning.  Things are falling into place and I am a little more energetic each day.   There is reason to be h...

photo by Nash August 16, 2026 Home 4 full days, managed to be ok, but need some help, glad I have a doc appointment tomorrow. I had a combined dinner tonight; a mushroom/sausage stew and turkey soup mixture.  It combined two meals made by 2 good friends who are both good cooks with different taste palettes.  It was delicious. Ember came down and spent the afternoon with me creating an entertainment center in the room, first time I've had a TV in the house since before 2010.  We'll watch some Star Trek and House reruns.    Tomorrow begins the actual return to arduous work.  I am so not looking forward to any of it.  Enough for tonight. Oh, the photo, Nash and EJ built fairy houses at the Quabbin today.  I think it is marvelous that after all of those years in fairy camp building these homes is an important of summer's work and EJ and Nash are doing it together.  Yay for Annie.

  August 15, 2026 T. brought glads.  Lots of flowers in the room.  Downstairs is clean, but mice have figured that out.  First night at home where I know there are mice in the house. Today was a good day,   I had wonderful visitors and organizers, shoppers and chefs.   Islay came down with Annie and drew me new art.  Patrick got the shower head in and I got a sponge bath, so nice, clean skin, oh, so nice. And flowers, and flowers and more.  I love them so much.  I'm so easy. Having death experiences is just difficult.  It questions everything.  My life is upside down, but the one consistent is the remarkable wealth of talented, kind, smart loving people in my life.  So one step at a time.  Today I got clean, tomorrow I will get dressed and Patrick will take me to the rookery with my camera.  I'm going to keep it a little calmer, but what is important to be done is being done. photo by EJ This guy came and vi...

  August 14, 2026 Happy Birthday, Dana Barnes. I've been having to chanel both your mother and my mother up in the last week.  The Overman sisters are kind of my superhero power,  they were such remarkably strong capable women with a level of goodness in them not to be beat.  We did good choosing our mothers this time around, Dana. Day 2 of home from hospital.  Day 2 living in my new 1 floor living inhabitants.  Day 7 of not being able to see the rookery.   I'm going to get dressed tomorrow and get Patrick to take me to my spot.   I've spent 2 days with Life is a Carnival running around in my brain.  Jason sent me a copy today so I could hear the boys sing it. I remember the first time I heard Big Pink.  I was 15, Jason was 3.  That summer was the super summer of rock and roll.  I think that being this ill has placed me right next to my brother, Michael's side.  I've thought about him so much.  I can't bel...

August 13, 2026 Didn't make it to the opening of my own party last Saturday.  Today I received this picture from Joanne taken while I sat in the ER wondering about life.   I think people had a good time and the show was successful.  I haven't seen it  yet.   Today was an entire day at home.  It feels like it's been months, not days. Trying to navigate the medical world just gets more difficult.  The hospital doctor did not make the referral to VNA and now I need it.  Little things like that.  But basically, I'm golden because I am so well loved.   Denise brought me flowers and made me a little dinner.  T. brought me some food, Jo brought me privacy and we were taught how to clean the wound site.   The journey towards recovery has begun  

August 12, 2026 Home after 5 days in the hospital.  Not the end of the story, yet, but maybe closer to solving it.  Tomorrow I will begin to write and photograph.  I feel as though someone took my life and turned it upside down letting every thing fall out and start a new process of beginning again.  I am alive.  

  August 5, 2026 Happy Birthday Lyd. I know you and John are off on one of your wonderful trips seeing the country.  Jealous. So this medical stuff is difficultt to be precise about and to share.   But here it goes. Today I saw the Urologist.  The CTScan showed a kidney stone lodged in the tube underneath the right kidney, the dead kidney.  This presents a strong potential for infection.  I have a large history of infection so they have to remove it.  It will not change the functionality of the kidney.  The kidney is gone for good. The scan also showed that the left kidney is fine.  There is no need for anything and it is functioning very well. So in 2 weeks they will remove the stone. Neither doctor felt that any of this was causing the nausea or headaches and fatigue. I felt a little stronger tonight and actually held some food in my stomach. I went and watched the sunset tonight and now I'll go to bed.  I am very grateful for the...

August 4, 2026 I miss my mother.  16 years ago she passed and today I asked her it was like going through time on the other side.    Today was hard,  It was existential, life death, their connections, being sick is often an existential crisis, a small spiritual one.   And this one is no different.   Tomorrow i get the results from the CTScan, which is concrete news I'm in need of, and a plan.  Thank God  I forced myself to get out of the house.  I took pictures and did a tiny bit of writing.  I ate a little.  Lost what I ate, but I am glad I did it.    I was interviewed by this organization that provides services to older people.  That was a lot to take in and I need someone to process it with.   It's a lot. There were 3 heron in the Canal and ducks, but not much more.  It was 88 and the skies were blue.    It was 87 at the Rookery The wood ducks in the rookery are beginning to get t...