A Blog for 2025

September 30, 2026 Today  was filled with every emotion possible.  That made day 5 of emotionally full days. Tonight my eyes feel as though I've been crying for a week, but I don't think I've actually shed one tear. I had appointments for a good part of the day so I wasn't here for a lot of this, but David, T. and Patrick began  the huge job of cleaning out the garage.  It has stored stuff for almost 30 years.  I am so mystified that I have lived in this house the longest of any place, yet I still don't feel home.  Today was a huge push. One box had in it a journal that  I was hand writing a novel in.  I had no memory of it until I opened the journal.  OMG.  It maybe 55 years old. I have boxes of slides from Marlboro and one when Loudy is a tiny puppy, 1981.  I can't really see them.  My eyesight is not good enough, but I'll find a way to get them digitalized. I was not here for most of it so the guys threw tons away, thank God...

09/29/25 September 29, 2026 A year ago Marcie and Geoff were here for a couple weeks and we had a few dinners at Denise's that were so lovely.  Lovely dinner parties have not been in my world this year.  It's been hard enough to photograph.     EJ went to the market for me and bought me food I don't have to cook because the stove is still broken.  He made the 2 bean salad which was delicious and basically a lovely dinner at home.  I will live on cold chicken, fruit and salad this week.  Thank you, EJ, my bestest.  Meanwhile Patrick tried to figure out the stove, which basically he did, but we could not open the oven door.  He's going back to Nantucket Friday so he'll try and fix it by then, but I may have to find somebody else.   Meanwhile, prey the rain stops for a while.  I need to get warm.

  9/29/24 Happy Birthday, Candace I woke up this morning feeling as though I'd been run over by a tractor.  I couldn't believe it was still raining and that I was not going to move smoothly in any way, shape or form.  I knew I had an appointment at the hospital but I didn't know for what test and I didn't know if I was meant to prepare for said test in any which way.  So I had fasted for 12 hours and kept my bladder full.  Made it to the hospital and found my ultrasound tech and once again watched a stranger look inside me and determine whether I would live or die, or so it felt.  And of course, I don't have the answer.  Kevin and I ate at the Coop, I so want my normal life back.  I had fun having a pal next to me for the 3 days.  It was nice to have each others' backs and develop new in jokes.  And to have someone to debrief the multitude of small experiences that sprinkled the whole time.  So many little moments that sparked joy a...

  September 27, 2026 We aren't smiling, but we were having a good time. EJ and I were both lined up to read at the Word Stage today in the pouring rain.  The weather stopped several people from showing up so there were empty spaces. Paul invited members of the audience to get up and read.  So Kevin said yes and for the first time read poetry of his own in public. The weather was bad, I'm not sure  it was as bad as we thought it was going to be, but it was bad.  The readings were good and so we thought about the weather less than you  would have thought.    Diane, EJ and Nash arrived  not long after we did.  Some people had canceled so there was room for some audience members to read.  Kevin read.  It was so great to have him reading with us.  This group really is my tribe.    EJ reads so well, I mean he writes incredibly well, but he reads wonderfully.  I loved his being with  us, I wish I could get him...

September 26, 2026 Son number 3 adding some comic truth.   I kept trying to think of this as being the last time I would sit and listen in this room, this large space that at one point in my life was the hub.  Oh the food sucked those first years, under cooked chicken legs in oil, the same iceberg lettuce and cold in the middle of frozen broccoli.  Those were the days. But I knew the thought was wrong, I'll be back to that room. It is a space of learning in safety, where ideas are heard.  I'll be back. There were almost 200 people there and some of them were my very favorite people in all the world.  Some incredibly beautiful words were spoken.  And the stories being told were important stories of father and sons, friends, brothers.   Life is so full of color and texture and warmth and cool.   It twists and turns and if you are lucky you twist and turn with people who care, who attend, who make you smile.  This group of people did a...

September 25, 2026 Happy Birthday, Jovonna.  Hope your day was wonderful   I was worried about tonight, I'd never been to Jenne Rd and sat around this table with Tom's being present.  Would his absence be intolerable?  But he was there.  How could he not have been?  3 out of 4 children, 3 out of 5 grandchildren, spouses, ex  spouses, brothers and sisters and friends from afar.  Kevin and I were so impressed by the maps of peoples' journeys so clear in faces in this room, all of them touched by one man, but all of them  touched by several others. Lives that have come together, bumped in meaningful ways, made new turns, and bumped into the next.  This was a somber occasion, or was it?   We  all  love and honor Tom. And there was love, honor and joy in that room  tonight.  Lots of laughter, lots of warmth, and the desire to sit next to one another.   I am bringing my camera tomorrow.  I usually d...

September 24, 2026 Really interesting how certain dates stay important no matter how much their meaning grows fainter and fainter in your life.  Today is one of those days.   This picture was taken 2 years ago but if I had had the strength to photograph today I might have taken a very similiar photo.   Happy Birthday, Andy. This weekend is so full, I hope I can get some stuff posted.  Tomorrow Kevin arrives and we are having dinner in Marlboro.  Saturday is Tom's celebration of  life and it will be filled with people and emotions  and stories.  I'm hoping I have the capacity to make it through  And then on Sunday EJ and I are both reading at the Garlic and Arts Festival. Here's a poem I'm reading.   Morning simmers slow, warm heart beat wrapped in old soft blanket tucked in under my too sore hip   How clever you are how lovingly you pour your coffee. Eat your creamy plain yogurt set the morning in stone. ...

September 23, 2026 Adolescence at its finest Big birds ruled the flats today.  There were a lot of geese and ducks, but the egret, heron and eagle kept me busy.   I hung out with EJ while he got an allergy shot today and afterwards he went to work on the new coop and I went to the Canal.  I'm really glad I did today.  I was a little tired, but I enjoyed myself with the camera which hasn't been true in a while.    Tomorrow I bring my car for an oil change.  It's the first one since I got the car in February.  I've driven 3000 in 6  months, I have obviously not been my most active self this year.   I am so amazed at how really sick I was and in how many little ways it showed itself.   Did I write about not wanting Patrick to go back to Nantucket this year?  To have someone take responsibility for your life, literally, the way he did in August is extremely profound.  Although I don't feel any different towards...

September 22, 2026 I'm sorry I didn't go out and actually photograph the sunset, it was lovely Happy Birthday, Susie. Happy Birthday, Janice. My day was pretty full again and I got it reinforced that I have to give myself time to heal.  I started physical therapy with Robin which makes me feel more secure.   EJ did some shopping and brought my quilt downstairs for me.  Robin also told me  not to climb the stairs a lot for a while and to stay downstairs.    So I will and I  will  go to the Y and I will listen to my body.   Tonight I'm going to sleep.      Good night, moon.  

September 21, 2026 Happy Birthday, Marcie Reed Whiton Hope your day was fun. Mine was full, but I'm not sure fun. This is a second harvest of milkweed pods.  I was shocked this morning when I went out to get in the car and all of these flowers were glowing in the sun at noon.  I didn't look for monarchs.  Tomorrow. It was over a year ago that my first attempt at eye surgery was scheduled. Since then it has been canceled three times.  The last time was when i went into Afib in March.  I saw the eye surgeon for the first time in 7 months.  He is the first doctor to acknowledge that the last 7 months had been too much.  He would not reschedule the surgery for early Winter and suggested we reconvene in January.  I'm worried that by the time I actually get to it, my vision will have been effected too much. So after 2 hours of waiting and being examined and being rejected I left there feeling both validated and pushed away in the same moment. ...