January 20, 2026

Within the 1st half hour  of this day I broke a favorite bowl and a tooth.  Let me tell you about the bowl, I have no idea  how I hit it off the shelf, but I did and I sent all of my bracelets falling to the ground.  It also splintered all over my bare feet sitting there at the bathroom door.  

I bought this bowl in January of 1991 in Chinatown San Francisco.  I had flown with my friend Mike to have a kind of break together to examine if we wanted to be in a relationship.  Just prior to our leaving, besides Bush bombing Iraq, Mike found  out the woman he was trying to leave had  breast cancer.  So what I learned in California was that he  wasn't going  anywhere, that he could not leave her at this juncture and as much as I wanted to fault him for that, I couldn't.  We returned to NYC 10 days later, not an item.  We went to Grand Central Station together, he would board a train up the Hudson and me up the coast to New Haven.  We stood at Gate 16 and kissed, one last long kiss and never saw each other again.   The other woman died of cancer.  He took care of  her.  About ten years ago I heard he died at an MLA conference of a heart attack at 66.  Mike would make a good character in a novel.  And this bowl, which I brought home along with  a Buddha surrounded by babies for Annie, has silently reminded me  of a gentle  man I once built an intricate kite with.  

photo by David.

As for the tooth, made it pretty difficult to eat my steak tonight.   I made a good steak and mushroom dinner.  Chewed it very carefully, very slowly.  Tasted great, but until the tooth is fixed  I  think we are looking at fish and chicken.

The GoFundMe continues to be  uplifting. Once we hit our original goal it  slowed down, but surprising contributions trickle in and really warm my heart.  I'm so so very grateful.  I  know I keep saying that, but I keep feeling it too.  So in spite of the broken tooth, my day was loving. 

I think this is a dolphin in David's yard.

I tied up a bunch of lose ends today.  The electricians came right after I broke my  bowl.  They came with their equipment, and their energy and their boots.  I hadn't had the driveway plowed, yet, so they had to tromp back and forth through the snow and bring wet dirt in and out of the house.   My staircase looks like a path through the woods, even mud on my bedroom rug.  

But they were really sweet, and they were doing an efficient job and I heard the guy in charge be so supportive of the other guys, telling them what a sweet job they were doing.  They replaced things that needed replacing 25 years ago when I first moved in, and it was all under the energy efficiency program. Along with installation and new windows, my house is getting a superb up grade, and I'll clean up the stairwell.   

Jo picked  me up, brought me to run my errands, talked  poetry events and we consoled  each other in the realization that we don't have as much energy as we used to.  Brian came and plowed my driveway, I have rides lined up for everything tomorrow and I continue to feel brighter and clearer about my future.

Can't wait until I can register this car.   So  excited.