March 4, 2026

Yesterday's storm produced a few more inches of snow, by morning there were fewer inches of snow and 2 inches of ice on everything. But the sun was really strong and much of it was gone by the time the sun went down and things could freeze up once again.  In the past 24 hours we experienced all winter can offer.  I hope we are coming to the end as we slip into the week before the Ides.  

Blocked in this morning until about 10.  I actually cleaned off my own car and went out by 11:30.  But first I had an on line Doctor's appointment in which we decided to do an MRI on my spine and lumbar.  Made me feel so relieved.  No one wants me taking even non addictive pain killers, but no one was doing anything about diagnosing the pain, either, and now I think we'll get somewhere.  

I still feel stopped at every corner and can't believe how difficult it is to get anywhere these days without being entangled with the computer.  My desire to not give out information on  line has reached a place of impossibility.  I can't access my own social security account without a real id at this point.  

But I did feel a little better after my talk with the doctor.  Then I went to therapy, which is always helpful.  By 2 my head hurt and I wanted to check out for a while, but I got myself in the car and went and spent an hour with EJ and watched the sunset in Northfield.

I have an important story to tell about being an ally to the trans community, but unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to tell my story within that and not EJ's or Billie's or someone else's.  Their stories are not mine to tell, but mine is an important perspective and the wrestling with ideas and notions that one has to go through to open one's mind and eventually heart (or maybe the other way round.) I think it could be helpful to tell for others who grow along side someone who is learning how to be their whole self 

in this world where thinking seems to be limited by fears.  Why someone should be threatened by another's embracing their own internal gender confuses me.  However, I do know that when I went to a very good week long conference on looking at discrimination and isms, it was the trans group that I hit my wall with.  I could not accept their narratives as honest and true.  Then lo and behold I watch the kid I am closest to in the world begin their path of transitioning and I have to open my own heart and mind and I have to learn.  Watching their journey allowed me to  see first hand how he became more and more his real self.

Looking through 3 years of photos last night, EJ's life from 7 to 10, it struck me how amazing his journey has been and how lucky I am to have been by his side.