March 24, 2026

It was a beautiful sunny day at the rookery, only 44, nonetheless, beautiful

My day started off bright and early with a new Cardiologist.  His office is in the building 2 doors down from the house I owned on Federal St for 20 years.  I walked to that building, which was then Super Johns, at least twice a day for 20 years.  For most of that time I bought 2 packs of cigarettes and a six pack of Diet Coke to make it through the day.  The other thing was Super Johns had a great butcher and I had access to really good meat.   I also met T. there when he was 18 years old and I was Director of The Literacy Project.

Today I walked into a suite of cardiologists.  Felt so odd to have it be so familiar and brand new and representative of the beginning of a new life chapter all at the same time.

I've been thinking how to share this medical journey with people who want to know.  I may do a sub blog and have it be permission only or something.  Can I do that?  Its just that to tell everyone individually what's going on means repeating myself a million times and focusing on there and not on future.   But I don't necessarily want to bore the rest of the world with the details of my medical inquiry.   

I do want to say that I am still in afib, there is some worry around that, but we have begun a clear plan to diagnose what is causing it.   I also did like the doctor and felt like he was paying attention to me, listening and wanting to know what was literally making me tick.   

It was a little disconcerting to talk about how my family members have died, thus far.   I'm afraid that addiction does play a role in the big picture and that as hard as my chosen substances have been emotionally they have not  been as destructive physically the way heroin, alcohol,  and other drugs may have been.  

I was in the doctor's office for 90 minutes or so and when I came out I decided to go to my favorite graveyard and breath.  I spent so much time there during COVID watching birds. It was comfortable.  I think I'm going to go there and breath more often.

I went and had lunch with Ash and we laughed a lot.  It was just what I needed.   The photo of the sandwich is my lunch.  It was so good.  I think that I like Wild Roots bagels the best in the area.  Not sure which bakery they use, but I'm going to ask.   I realized that part of my food rut recently has been my routine and that changing that a little may help me escape my use of food to cover my fear.   

I drove up to the rookery around 4 and smiled at all the ducks.  The geese are pairing off and several different species of ducks are investigating the water ways.  It also was perfect water reflection time.  Spring color is beginning to arrive.   

Tea with Jo ended my day.  Home to my blog and to my Godson and to friends on phone, to comfort, all those things mean comfort to me and are less caloric than a muffin.  

This was a good beginning to my journey.   No eye surgery in the near future, and I still need to find a painkiller, but we are on the path to see what's up with the other 5 variables of my body that have gone astray this month.