February 20, 2026

Been home sick with a cold and watching funny snow fall from the sky.

When I first looked out on this I thought a tree had fallen on my car.  I'm like, when did a tree appear there?   And why would it fall in this snow?  On top of my new car?  What is going on?

No fallen tree, just large snowflakes on bushes.  

I slept a lot of the day, I feel like I need to go back to bed again.  But I made a nice dinner and I ate it intentionally and slowly.  I feel so stuck in a rut by my physical journey.  I want to do little changes that might help some larger alterations.  And I need to go back to the Chiropractor next week because my sciatica is rebelling.  

I'm so at an end with the medical world and I have to say that giving into these surgeries feels scary to me.  I think I'm putting a will together next week.  I'm not trying to be dramatic, but with all of the mistakes that have been made and the lack of continuity, I think it's smart to have a will.   

I have the desire to write big things at the moment.  Did any of you read billie mae's entry that I posted last night?  I have been thinking about it all day and wanting to organize my thoughts around it to write a response.  I also had a conversation with EJ last weekend about there being no actual USA culture and I've decided I disagree. I don't think it is consistent across the continent and I think there are large areas of different cultural norms, but I think they are there.  Now billie's essay talks about being a woman, being transgender queer, about being twenty something identifying physically as female and the challenge's that brings.  They talk about sexism and the additional layer placed on those identifying as they.    I started thinking about the women that raised them.  My mother is billie's great grandmother.  She was a professional flutist who raised seven children on her own for a good deal of it.  She was elegant and feminine and certainly saw the world from a strong, intelligent woman's perspective.  I don't think she was willing to give into anything because she was a woman.  She believed in her equal rights and her willingness to claim them.  She raised all 7 of us to believe the same thing.

I'm not sure how this all comes together.  I just wrote a lot and deleted it because I'm not quite sure what the point is.  We, EJ, Billie, Sarah and others belong to a culture that does not see woman as lesser beings.  Our country's culture still holds on to that perspective, mainly out of fear, and the need to dominate.   My mother was the dominate adult even when my father was still alive.  There was no question about who was stronger.  She was, she was stronger than most.  That fact is embedded in the continuation of raising female identifying humans with motivation and strength to see through to their dreams.   I'll keep thinking on this, I know there is an interlink between the culture/feminist perspective.  

Meanwhile, if you didn't read their blog yesterday, you might want to try now.