December 12, 2025
I'm breaking my own blog rules.  Today was another day of no photography.  It was a very full day, but there was no room for a ride or a photo shoot.  I thought a lot about finding a Solstice Card photo so I looked through some winter photos.  This one I took in November 2024.  I took it with the Canon.  It's not quite what I'm looking for, but I like it.


This was taken a year ago.  Tomorrow I have to work and then I am meeting Ember and Karen and going to a holiday concert with all of them, so my pictures won't be nature based.  But on Sunday I will try to express Solstice.  

I saw people today and I got to catch up with people I've been missing, so that's good.  I made it to the pool.  T. met me for some lunch.  I miss him in my daily life.  I can talk about concepts with T. that I can't talk with others and I can share poetry and know my poems improve with our interactions.   Then I saw my friend Kay, who I have not really seen in many years.  We caught up a little, it made me feel good.  Went and visited Jay, who was in strong shape today.  We talked about everything under the sun and commiserated about our need to live alone but maintain a community.   We understand why both needs are equally strong in each of us.  Good to articulate that.   EJ called, 7 more days.  OMG.   And home not until after dark.  

Last night I could not really get warm.  I wasn't shivering, but I was cold.  I would go off to sleep, wake up, need to use the bathroom and read again for an hour.  I did that 3 times during the night.  I dragged myself to the pool, had to walk around in the water and get my blood moving.  My blood sugar was low.  I don't know what was going on, but I forced myself to not take a nap when I got home and I will go to bed early tonight.    


These two were taken Dec. 23, 2024.  I wish the black and white was just a little crisper.  I am going to spend time between Solstice and New Year going through my camera equipment and figuring out what to do with it.  Can I fix my good lenses?

It is just clear that December is always a difficult time for me to keep my blog or to keep up with my 352 photos a year.  Every Dec. I fall behind, I have less to articulate, I feel much more and I just need to make it through.  I need to listen to Joni Mitchell,  River, and not be depressed, but to allow myself all of what I experience.   I have so much to be grateful for, I also have a lot to be sad about.  I want to own it all and in December I don't to have a choice, I just experience it all.  Whether I'm laughing in the pool with my nutty pool mates, or wishing I knew my daughter, or weeping because I am so lucky to have been given EJ for the past 25 years to watch and let my heart swell, I am taking it all in.  I am embracing all of the color and the texture.   So I look forward to grieving for my daughter, being awed by the artists at LAVA, and  grinning ear to ear watching my great niece discover a large world tomorrow.  I''ll tell you about it tomorrow night.   



 

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