November 22, 2025

 Elizabeth Alderman, I was just informed by her daughters, would have been 100 today.

I probably have more up to date photos than this one, but i continue to be touched by this one.  This is a photo of a rehearsal of The Bottle Imp, written by my Dad whose sitting at the piano.  Liz is surrounded by the male leads.  The musical relationship between my father and Liz stays alive in me.  Our families were brought together because of their love for music and their high level of talent. The families melded for a few years and always there was love between Liz and my parents. 

  Liz is one of those people I always wish I could have dinner with.  She taught me how to make spaghetti.  She honored in me my love for my father in the midst of his worse years, when you would have thought I should have hated him.  I never hated him, but it certainly was horrible to witness, and she got that. 

I just had a long hard conversation with Kevin.  It began with a conversation about sexual abuse and it went on for a long time and we recalled many complex events.  There were too many emotionally complex things happening between 1966 and 1974.  I mean there were complex things happening always, but in those 8 years there was no let up for any of us.  Unfortunately, the adults were not together enough to protect us all from a lot.  They tried and they gave us huge amounts of gifts, but they did not do a good job of protecting us or teaching us boundaries.  I find it fascinating that at 72 I can look that straight in the eye without judgement, that I can admire them, love them, and know there were real problems.

I went to the rookery today.  It's freezing up, but its duck families are returning.  There were Common Mergansers, Wood ducks, Black ducks and Canada Geese.  

I looked for otters again today.  It is this time of year they show up in past photos.  I wonder if there is a specific time they might come through.  I also wonder if the lack of depth in the waterway will keep them away this year.  The creak may just be too shallow for them come down from the Deerfield.

I also looked for eagles today, but I realized I haven't seen one in the hills since March or April.  I also think I've seen fewer hawks this fall.  I think the weather and the climate have been different this past month, but I have to say I'm not sure my perception has any accuracy what so ever.  I've been so consumed by my physical life and it has really taken my attention away from my daily observations.  

Did I say last night that they postponed my eye surgery again?  I feel like I'm caught on a medical merry go round and don't know how to make it better, and it is all up to me.

I just heard that a fellow Massachusetts Poet, Charles Coe, just passed.  He was on my list of writers to invite to Writers Read this year.  I never got to hear him in person, but my friend, Christine Dutton, introduced me to him almost a year ago and I'd followed him every since.  It's so sad.  May he be at peace.  

The complexity of emotions, thanks Kevin for that phrase.  I don't know why its striking me as so clarifying tonight, but it is.

I kind of want to tell a sweet story, but I don't have one at the moment.  Tomorrow I am writing though.  I also saw that there is a request for poetry about family from Frontier Poetry.  I think I'll submit something.