February 3, 2025

Woke up this morning feeling free.

First thing I get is a text from EJ that their short story has been accepted by the Journal of Ethics and Writing.

Made me so happy.   

Then I got a text from pool friends checking in if  we were all gonna make it this morning.

We all were

Again, made me so happy.

After the Y I received a phone call from a GCC ally informing me that our friend passed yesterday.  I have none of the facts, yet, so I won't post anything, but I have her new book of poems sitting here as I've been reading it this week.  She was due to participate in an event I'm running on the 21st.  It put me into shock.  I had to go home and be by myself.  On my way home I got a notice from Jason that John Roberts passed yesterday.  What is this?   

I have two links I want to post with this day's blogs.  

I drove up to the Rookery around 3.  There were prints on the pond, proof of 4 legged animals.  Not sure what they are,  

And I saw an owl flying and a flock of robins.   All of this made me happy.  I'm so available to my emotions.  I feel the happiness of a flock of robins in February with snow covered ice on the ground and the view of the Berkshires diminished by the fog.  I do, I feel it.  

And I feel the overwhelming sadness of a woman who was just finding her stride a year after the love of her life, the father of her children had died, stopped breathing for good.  For good, oh how deeply sad it makes me. 

Robban Anthony John, you now are the living, breathing entity of those three names, the 3 men you were named after, all have now gone to another plain.  John Roberts, half of Tony and John, the singing duo who helped me find a home at Marlboro College, who helped me know I had taken the right turn in my life, rest in peace.   

I talked to John a little over a year ago to inform him that Robban's dad might not make it through the night.  We had all been on a death watch for our close friend.  John was his loving, gentle self.  Tom didn't die, now John is gone.  Life has funny turns.    

It's 35 degrees out there and raining.  It's supposed to rain throughout the night.  After this crazy few days of small snow falls and freezing cold temperatures we have rain.  

I do feel, I feel all of it.  Someone plowed my driveway and  my path today.  I have no idea who did it, but it warmed me up.  It really warmed me up.  Thank you!!  So you can see my day has been full of life, of feeling, of deep feeling.  While our government is imploding and people are being allowed to break the law in ways that may really impact my life, I feel grief, comradery, sadness, beauty, pride, love, immense love, humility, kindness, and compassion.  That is my day, all of it.  All, freaking all of it.