February 20, 2025

I know it doesn't really look like it, but it was a beautiful day today.  After a frigid night it actually got to 30 by mid-afternoon.


There was an actual half moon shining through my window early this morning.  She was shiny and bright.  Nice to see her, I haven't seen her in a few days.  I think it was 8 degrees when I took this. 


Part of me wants to embrace the idea that I am an elder, but it is so difficult to figure out what that means.  And to tell you the truth if it weren't for the joint disorder I would argue that I am in my later middle age, not an elder.  

In 1991 just before my Mother's 72 birthday and my 39th we went to Japan to visit Jason where he had been for the past four years.   Mom and I saw it as this huge opportunity.  I remember thinking she was old and I might never get to travel with her again.  I loved travelling with her because she was so inquisitive and determined.  Jason wanted us to see his world and his Japanese family, so we decided to go for it.  

I really did think she was old to be doing this long trek and I worried about her comfort and her balance.  But to tell you the truth she was as active as we were and faster, too.  What was this desire to sit around and drink tea?  Too much to see for any of that lallygagging around.  LOL.  Jason and I were great tea drinkers. 

She was so not old.   She was, however, Gramma, and grandmothers are revered in Japan.  Everywhere we 

went she was honored with something and despite the lack of language, she communicated with everyone, made friends with everyone, and carried conversations to new insights for us all.  One of Jason's colleagues was about 10 years younger than Mom.  He offered to chauffeur us to different places in the northern part of the country.  He had been a boy when the Americans marched into Japan and he remembered it all.  His English was fairly good so they got to commiserate about Japanese/American relations.  We had a great trip; i was glad to leave for I felt so other, but Mom was certainly not too old to travel.  

We actually made three more trips together after that.  So you see my role model at 72 was not giving into the elder definition.  In many ways she was, and she certainly was the matriarch for this huge family, but her life didn't really slow down until about 86 when it was clear she couldn't do what she once was able to do.  I think she made an outfit for me at 88 that I'm still wearing.  She made it to 91.  I don't think I'm embracing an old definition of elder for a while, yet.  But we'll see.

The clouds were fascinating today, like piles of pillow stuffing rolled out across the sky.  

 
I still haven't returned my car to the road.  I did start it today for the first time in a week and it turned right over, not the tiniest hesitation at all.   That made me smile.   And part of me would use it much much less if I actually lived close to public transportation.  But I must admit, I feel vulnerable and a little penned in being dependent on others to get around.  My friends are so gracious, but it gets tiresome, too.  


Tomorrow night is the New Book event I organized.  I'm excited for that.  I'm happy to be selling my own book, being an author, and selling the Anthology.  It'll be a good evening.  I think the weather will hold out, too.




 

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