February 25, 2025
January thaw at the end of February.  

I'd never lived in a city before.  One can't really claim Shattuck Ave as real city, except it's only a few blocks to the University campus, and once you're there, you are in a city.  I hadn't even ever lived where there were sidewalks.  The ability to walk outside the front door and walk three blocks to the Safeway was a brand new concept that was both scary and freeing. I was used to being self sufficient and able to come and go as I pleased, but on foot to whatever I needed was a new experience.    

Mike Dockwiller and I walked the Berkeley streets for a week straight.  We walked to the kite store, we walked to the outdoor equipment store, we saw That's Entertainment at the movie theater a few streets away.  We walked to the top of the hillside and watched at least 6 cities worth of fireworks on July 4, 1976.  (They really did try to teach me to play with a frisbee while we climbed that hill.)  

I take in everything three times stronger than anyone else I know.  Being in a new city, discovering a different way of living with a mixed cast of characters lit me up with feelings.  Buying a kite to build with Michael was falling in love.  I don't actually know if I was in love with him, but I do know I wanted to create with him, learn with him, lie with him.  I wanted to discover with him.  But it wasn't meant to be.  It was just a week in a new place with a new person.  I've never learned to accept those experiences as singular, they still mean more to me, they still don't have an end.  But I never went back to Shattuck Ave. 


I took this photo of goats at Beth's farm 14 years ago.  It came through in a memory recently.  I love it.




Entirely different day today.  I came home from the Y and didn't go out, instead I did some cooking and got ready to have some guests for dinner.  It was a lovely evening.  I was so pleased to have friends over and a chance to blab.  Thanks gang.  


But I really want to take pictures, it's the one thing I truly miss  while not having a car, no rides, no rookery, no cove, nor big birds.  AHHHH

Maybe tomorrow I'll get someone to go for a ride.  




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